If you ever held a woman’s hair up while she was vomiting, you know how Patti Blagojevich felt when she did that for fellow contestant Janice Dickinson on Monday’s episode of “I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!”

Blagojevich also received a back massage, was awakened by on-site security removing a big snake from camp, bared her soul (again) to John Salley and later narrowly lost to Salley in a trivia trial to determine this week’s camp leader.

Blagojevich and Torrie Wilson earned back massages by beating Salley and Lou Diamond Phillips in a luxury trial called “Walk the Plank.” Blagojevich and Salley stood on planks as their teammates cranked handles to pull back their opponents’ planks. Wilson made Salley fall in the water, so the women got back massages.

Later, Blagojevich and Salley sat in the river as Blagojevich bared her soul again.

“The hardest part about it all was that it took me probably four or five days to get myself out of the constant — this weight that hangs over us that won’t go away for a long time, you know? It just sits there,” Blagojevich said. “And so after a few days it was kind of off a little bit. And that call (to husband Rod last week) just put it back on.”

Blagojevich explained, “My husband looked tired. That’s what got me, you know? He looked a little worn out and it makes me worry that something’s going on that I don’t know about.”

Perhaps she could see Rod’s worry about his impending appearance at last Saturday’s performance of “Rod Blagojevich Superstar.” But I digress.

“When people got you down, they step on you, and when they see you stand up with strength, they back off,” Salley said.

“Well, that was part of the problem, the big decision whether to come here or not,” Blagojevich said. “Because the question is, are you aggravating the U.S. attorney (Patrick Fitzgerald) and then they indict me too, you know? You know it’s coming, in about a year it’s coming with the, you know, we’re going to indict your wife unless you come plead guilty. They’ll say it.

“It’s like, yeah, well go ahead and do it then. You gonna take, you know, make our kids orphans?” she concluded, dealing the sympathy card to her husband’s (and possibly her) potential jury pool.

Patti Blagojevich avoided indictment in early April, but there is an ongoing investigation into her real estate dealings with convicted businessman Tony Rezko. (She allegedly was paid commissions for some deals she did little work on.) Some legal observers suggested she wasn’t indicted so the young Blagojevich children wouldn’t potentially lose both parents to prison.

Anyway, back to the show: Salley later called Patti Blagojevich “my BFF in camp.” (For those who don’t know, BFF stands for “best friend forever” in textese — my word for the shortened language created by text messaging.)

Earlier in the show, Dickinson’s foul mouth prompted this ironic gem from Blagojevich: “She talks about it in a way that my own mother would be ashamed if I spoke that way.”

Of course, Patti Blagojevich was heard cursing in the background of FBI-wiretapped telephone conversations between her husband and associates, and her less-than-ladylike language is lampooned in Second City’s “Rod Blagojevich Superstar.”

Speaking of which, tonight MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann noted Rod Blagojevich’s Saturday appearance at the Second City spoof accordingly: “It’s not clear how much Blagojevich got for the appearance, but you better believe he was paid to play.”

Well said, Keith.

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