If you’re a sports fan, you probably heard about the Philadelphia Phillies fan who ran on the field and got Tasered for his trouble.
There has been some outcry about the security guard using a Taser to take the 17-year-old down, but I think the time for teaching these wall-jumpers a lesson was long past. Think it was cool to make 45,000 people wait for you to stop running around so they can continue watching the game? I bet there were a lot of people in attendance who thought it was equally cool to see the guy get the Taser treatment.
Yes, perhaps using a Taser was a bit premature, but hopefully it sent a message to wannabe lawbreakers that if you don’t follow the rules, there are consequences – and sometimes consequences involve a Taser blast.
I can think of a few other people who deserve the Taser treatment. For instance, former Illinois governor and ongoing embarrassment Rod Blagojevich – there’s a guy severely in need of a Taser zap. Not only does he have it coming, but I’d love to see what it does to his hair, too.
I won’t even bother listing all the annoying celebrities that deserve a Taser blast, but the ones at the front of the line are the ones who are famous for nothing. Kim Kardashian, anyone?
There are plenty of politicians I could list here, too, but for the sake of brevity, let’s stick to the Kennedy clan for now. I find it disingenuous of them to be in favor of using alternative “green” energy sources, but when their country wants to put a wind farm off the coast of Cape Cod, the Kennedys loudly oppose the project because it would be seen from their family compound on Martha’s Vineyard. You can’t want it both ways without being a hypocrite.
I’d also like to see BP officials get the Taser treatment. It was bad enough when, in 2007, the oil giant procured an Indiana permit allowing it to dump more pollution into Lake Michigan than typically allowed. But now BP is also responsible for the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, so somebody needs to zap some BP executives.
Speaking of the oil spill, BP executives and their oil rig subcontractors spent part of Tuesday morning pointing their fingers at each other. Nobody wants to take responsibility for the oil spill. Here’s a solution: take a Taser to the whole lot of them.
And while we’re on the subject, let’s not forget to save a Taser blast for Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who recently said the oil spill should not be blamed on the oil industry because such disasters are “acts of God that cannot be prevented.”
Hey Perry – consider your Taser shot an act of God that cannot be prevented because of your stupid statement.
This column was also published in the May 13 issue of Ottawa Delivered.